This man, Dr. Mutunga

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Jauary 21,2015. I am also doubting this statistic. That date is neither a court date or anything special…It is just the date when I last penned an artice here on WordPress, precisely. Therefore, dear WordPress, I am taking this chance to apologize for my absence. I know what you are thinking: that I am that an unpredictable and cautious lover. Yes that is true….I took time to measure up whether you served my interests as well..the usual ones you know..like are the reader statistics in tandem with my efforts on you? I also wish to apologize for being unfaithful to you WordPress…I am sorry…I jumped boat a couple of times to other sites that sounded better..like Blogger.. and set camp there…you know the grass is always greener on the other side..Right? However,I have not sired any children on those other sites…so I am back..to you..for good..for better for worse..with or witout readers…That I promise….Now Dear WordPress, in the course of my dilly dallying, I suffered something that was like…mmmmm..a block,,a writers block they say…Im still recovering ,,,that is why this post today is political…well yes, because I am not yet creative enough and yes beacause as a Kenyan I want to pay tribute to a great man retiring today….Lets start!

Now sometimes not so long ago,before I knew you WordPress…it was just a chilly night,,when I turned on the television to find a rather intriguing discusion..The man at the centre of the heated debate then was Dr. Willy Mutunga, a candidate at the post of the Chief Justice of Kenya. What was however disturbing was that the discussion was not based on his merits but rather on his fashion sense-a stud that he wore on his ear. Y’all be wondering why exactly Im writing about a public figure in a little known blog that no one cares to read. Im writing this beacause a man of great honour has retired from the high echelons of judicial power. What’s more…he retired a year earlier..Reason? ati to pave way for a smoother transition because of the upcomimg heated mix of the National General Elections in 2017. How Noble!
That aside I think that Mutunga serves as a great lesson to all current and aspiring civil sevants in all quadrants of the service sectors….Getting into office and coming out without a record of emblezzlement of funds is doing the citizens a favor- I mean-look at our honourables who are the high priests of impunity in the altar of hate speech and wrong mobilization of the youth offering sacrifices of the county’s gain and prosperity….that not stealing even a single shilling in the public service is a norm we should practice is a lesson Mutunga has taught us. By the way..I was thinking,,,Maybe we could be like China where the corrupt are punished by death..What do you think dear Kenyans?
Mutunga’s defense in what he believes in through his charismatic personality is something we could learn.,,,Im not saying of when he said he would rather keep his stud and we as Kenyans keep the job..and because we were on the loosing end we gave the man the job,,Im speaking about his ability to keep the judiciary from the interference of the other arms of the government….Justice was also served during his tenure because of his increased efforts to claer the backlog of cases as well as making his office much available…Now this article will not befit the honour of stating all the accomplishments of such as a maestro but rather to mention that he is acknowledged. His merits such as his service to the civil society, and how he left a high paying job at the Ford Foundation to serve us and other analytics I will leave to the post graduate columnists and political experts to explain further…You know the ones whose articles are read with an Oxford dictionary nearby? and they all wear the same type of spectacles? Yea..those ones…
I just wrote this article to prove that we as the youth of this nation, Kenya, are watching closely and taking note about how you the older ones, are running this country. I know this sounds so serious for a mere college student who should be at most wondering about how to purchase that Infinix phone or why exactly Instagram should stop playing hard to get asking for too much sign in passwords …I mean..college stuff…Maybe the next time I will jump into the clinche bandwagon and write about things that require less demenour like this new Sponsors menace in town….By the way Daktari,,you should have jailed these Sponsor things today as your way of dropping the retirement mic….Lastly Dear Mutunga,,Please continue serving Kenyans in any capacity…Asante Sana

Oooh WordPress…I am back baby,,,for good this time round…

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Damn it,,,,I miss childhood.

In this night let me yell,…..Its October folks,, yes it is. I wonder who the folks are this cold night way after midnight. You see I’m the sleepy head type but for some weird reason sleep and I are partying ways. I said October because its my birthday month.I turned twenty this month. Did I just explain reasons for staying up late?  Well lets get there. First, each birthday is an ironical milestone that awakens some lifelong fears.Mine were awakened and I suddenly miss teenage.

For the first time in the human race and its history, a woman has stated her years in public.Sorry roomie, go back to sleep its just me banging up my keyboard at three A.M., not some bastard drugging us and stealing from us,,,Kenyan hostels..aaarrrgghh I deviate a lot. So back to where I was. I turned 20 this week ,on the 15th to be precise. Keep your belated cards and cakes coming dear ones.The only consolation I had was, mmmh, I am still on the safe side of twenty.

There is something sinister that scares the hell out of people once they are out of teens..like here you come girl, all grown up sort of stuff.Getting out of teenage has made me wonder if i will be able to make it i life,I mean with death so near yet so far.? I am writing this with emotions in remembrance of two fallen age-mates. Death make you thank God profusely on your birthday. Fears are awakened when one grows up. The M-pesa messages from family start to thinly diminish, the cute eyes and sighs that everyone gives you change to hard stares of high expectations from everyone.

There is the comfort of acceptance in teenage loudly absent in adulthood..everyone accepts teenage stupidity but not adult stupidity…you will never hear things like, stop sneaking around like an adult…point is I still think am unprepared for adult perfection.I still want to make allowed mistakes. Goof around and get smiles and not stares,anger or worse, pity.

Those goddamn ambitions start to haunt grownups….society has a set silent yet loudly written timetable of what and where one has to be in regard  to a certain age.Mine were a widely read blog by the time am 20.Well, that still seems like a dream because even Bing does not recognize the URL of this blog…I had to google Google in Bing then google my URL in Google…hope you get it.Too much stuff in my head right now.

The beauty of 20 and in campus however is, you are always encouraged by peers to open those wings and fly to nowhere, just fly until the energy is sapped out of the body, rest and take off again…with the hope of finding your ideal destination one day. Ooooh  and the energy in 20 is priceless. In 20, there is that sovereignty ,,,that rare gem of chance..of choosing what fits and what  does not, what works and what does not….what heals and what kills…and the flexibility of change is enormous at this stage.

Its been long since I last penned an article here. Don’t ban me yet, WordPress. A year older has awakened  that desire of doing and keeping on going until something happens…and praying too…so to write I will, until the readers come by, and with my words they sway, to their own worlds of pleasure, understanding and self discovery.

Got to go now.Sleep is creeping in me slowly.Thank you God for the gift of another year. Happy birthday to me and all new young adults. Raise an invisible glass to our confusion in this web of adulthood,the journey and the ultimate destination.To the many years of togetherness and lessons,cheers.Ciao!

Memoirs of an ex-freshman

In my musings of a wanderer today lemme recall my freshman year….in campus that is,for starters.I mean,with a long holiday that is seemingly unending and whose finding plot for is harder than watching grass grow ,,,what else would I do? When you get to campus first the old men make sure you feel the naivety flowing in your freshman self…everything is junior friends everything…even cookiejars are…let a second and upper year chic see their boyfriends laying their eyes on you…that’s when you know people..
Dear citizens of this planet freshman is all exciting….i mean without a few retakes to take care of could life be sweeter? My university is not in a city vicinity or in some punk leafy surburban so urbanites pardon me here..but continue reading peeps..just read..but be sure you will not find scenerios where someone puked for using the lift for the first time or saw Afya Centre as a big Mpesa..not in my humble abode of a campus
First lemme clarify I did not cry for setting foot in campus and seeing my folks bid goodbye,,,unlike in my primary school life.in fact I rejoiced ,,,more than our cabinet secretaries after their corruption charges are dropped..that freedom…its sweet I tell you..it is
Then my first lecture….and the dark not so friendly lecturer tells us that getting an A was a rumour whistling in the wind…i guess the old chap is blind,,what else explains the big thick spectacles competing for space with his nose in his equally wrinkled face??..but that’s the symbol of a well ,,.a tapped reservoir of knowledge..we laugh at his prophesy…i silently hope those end year transcripts don’t prove him right and the rest of us wrong….the lecture goes on…of cos juggling between sleep and Whatsapp the hippy happy app connecting us to the rest of our crew in the rest of the country..and a series of lectures begin in campus…for four straight years they,will reign..
Harvest day came…it is CAT day…i mean exams don’t think otherwise peeps….one thing campus taught me in that one year is if you don’t dazzle with brilliance baffle with bullshit..the lecturer gives you an unfamiliar question return the favour with a morass of unfamiliar answers…tit for tat…it may work..or otherwise …
Outside academic circles…the number of things I have learnt…are way too many…first the government decided condoms are better than HELB money…hustlers we understand this money and its importance so we know the wrath we feel seeing condom bins full and your helb account on the contrary…but it is priority right?..the results…the number of times I walked down fellow comrades hostels’ corridors and heard history being made are more than the number of times I got jokes from my lecturers…but I could not disturb people and their chemistry ..their poetry just because I was on the wrong side of it…
When the heart rules without the much needed company of the head poverty beckons…the number of times heifers have made away with ATMs of bulls make me wonder…lakini mwanaume Ni deni..siyo?? Chaps beg for the whole semester because some lass got away with all their savings and hustles…experiences haha..
My pocket sunk way below the sea level of cos…this is when I salute the men and women of honour who saved me from these predicaments one too many…and the dear friends who allowed me to pitch tent in your camps when mine sunk…Asante Sana…i look forward for the next three years with you
Ooh this chap that tried bulling me in a queue for getting exam cards I think…dude I remind you your revenge is coming..Omera you must learn chivalry is never an option…i did not just sleep off and forget your manner less good for nothing self…such riffraffs ,,how they get to campus only the one above knows
Then you yes you…you made me free of all the dude drama and crap that comes with it…the number of times I cried to you when exams sounded like Greek mythology leaving me wondering if I will harvest peanuts or nuts..as if there is a difference….and laughing with you and making spare times memorable…if I write about you WordPress will expel me for too much space use…you are valued and treasured…you made campus worthy and worry free…Jesus thank you…thank you…
Ngugi,this chap who served me well even when my stomach and pockets grew inversely at a steady rate…in short you fed me even when I had no coin to pay you…may you be blessed with your kindless that’s is rare in university quarters…Omera you made sure this daughter of Kenya does not die of hunger in pursuit of papers …thank you Ngugi…i look forward to your service at the business centre..
Lemme raise my glass to those who conceived this year…only Almighty knows the task of a baby in one hand and notes in the other…but you shall make it sisters…i have three more years lemme keep quiet..you never know fate..quite a bitch right?.
Oooh I was almost forgetting…the fashion week,,,since I’m on the lower limits of the looks category I wont chest thump and say I was actively a participant…no I was an audience team ..no major difference…i saw things and potentials…i will write about those things when I finish college…i have to safeguard my life..of cos Kuna wale walidanganywa Na speech ya Lupita wakamodel pia..but who am I to say…anyway their not so valid dreams ended midway…its life,,reality
Then freshas night…the gold rush is real…people are thirsty in these sides…or is it everywhere…some took beer for the first time in their lives..and I’m told they have been promoting liquor houses since then..keep up chaps,.thats how people learn…but limit that thirst people..
Now lemme go,..this was just a sneak peek of campus…ngojea miaka tatu nimalize niandike vitu za maana…now I have to watch my back..what I say…oooh before leaving,.,those bitches who attempted to make life hell…continue..i beg you…you diluted sometimes boring campus life with dramas…with your desperate attempts of spreading your cheaply fabricated lies..and trynna harvest what you did not sow..cheap souls…
Now goodbye..for real…ooh mom ,dad incase you find this know your school fees was utilized..be assured.

Open Letter to you Baba

A myriad of issues got me writing this….first you baba you the current president so I trust you will hear this…..congratulations by the way…for making the cut to clinch that seat…el presidente of Kenya…from a country whose voting block swings like a pendulum..ahem back to where we are…….you see baba things have been happening …remember the Garissa university massacre…..comrades like me and others were killed…one month later have you visited the site,,,at least to show solidarity with broken-hearted citizens???when I last checked sir….you had not…those comrades were the future of Kenya…socially economically and perhaps politically..okay politics is another topic for another good day..
Again Sir…this thing…corruption…i call it playing with money,,,taxpayers money…you too are a taxpayer baba…or aren’t you?? Sir this cycle if recycling old wheels whose oils dried off ages ago sir…does not go well with the throats of many Kenyans….you see those parastatal chiefs you appointed….most have been tried and tested,..and Sir,,.they failed miserably..
Baba that laptop project Sir….it seems to have flown and off to the wind ..it went..like that ill fated Malaysian plane..sometimes back….kids are still wondering what happened to their laptop project…they are more eager and hopeful than Arsenal fans…sorry if you are an Arsenal fan…they make good managers by the way..waiting for trophies for years is no joke..that’s patience and a half…oooh I keep drifting
Sir these issue of terrorism….its hard….we know..but you sit on that hot seat sir…do something m.you vied…you won,.talk of blessing in disguise baba…but don’t give up Sir….
I know I have complained a lot baba…no its not complaining..it’s pointing out…im actually typing away this on my Chinese phone…you know how they behave..dont you Sir?..ooh they are our economic patners…it slipped my mind,..but Sir..its because I waited for my class one’s sisters laptop..I won’t say in vain…but almost…
Baba say hey to mama…our first lady…shes doing you and other citizens with big titles a good course by helping others,,in reference to Beyond Zero Campaign…
My suggestions are in the next publication Sir..so that you could read this one…Now lemme pen off..aaarrrgghh its digital..i meant tap out Sir…so that I can go back to class..hopefully I won’t fall down by a terrorist’s bullet…in another rabid campus attack…you see sir…a famous a think tank said “”do not ask what your country has done for you,.but what you have done for your country”” so Sir…I’m acquiring skills too to run our dear economy…I know you will keep me and my fellow comrades safe in school…Wont you Sir?? Yes you will..no more campus attack in our motherland..Now I’m off…for real…Until next time..CIAO…thats how we part.

Open letter to my pals sister turning 13 today

So this ever witty cheecky and cunning pal of mine approached me for advice today.Knowing her usual character I knew this was something ….Clare asking for advice today??I knew the heavens were opening up for big rain because  Clare’s motto in life is YOLO.…For starters,YOLO means ‘You Only Live Once’.
To cut short the story its Clare’s younger sisters birthday today.She is turning the year that marks the beginning of turbulence for as long as teenage is involved. ThirTEEN!!!.Knowing Clare and pieces of advice I clearly understand why she had to delegate the duty of teen counselling her sister to someone else. She picked on me..not because I’m the one whose blood plasma reads purity as it flows on my veins,but because I’m the most sane of our crews.You know the silent watch at a distance type of person??? Well you catch the drift.

So sweet young Liz,this is my birthday present to you. An open letter to you and fellow youngsters who are approaching teen world. First lemme inform you that from today henceforth you have entered a territory of war. A war within…. A rage within you ..scientists call it hormonal imbalance in teens but I call it self rage..This is when you experience twenty minutes in a clean two minute period.. You feel sad,happy,fearful all at once..Your moods swing more like a pendulum. Lemme tell you young one ,,,,,no matter your mood swing remember to respect each and everyone darling.
This is also the time you will find your pals to be the official law makers …They will lure you to all manner of things ..alcohol just to mention the most lenient…Just remember as you ‘explore’ life and ‘live life’ as its called you don’t want to land in rehabilitation centre for drug addiction. You have a future bigger than teen drug turbulence..
This is the period you will notice all the species of mars otherwise called men.You will feel like God just handed you extra eyes to see all the ‘hot dudes’ around.You will feel too.. Some love others I can’t judge..You will rate yourself.. However, no matter how you have feelings remember to carry your brain hand in hand with your heart..
step by step…Of cos its my prayer you get real love..The lucky few have it in teen years ..its my prayer you fall in the bracket..
Liz,there are things called friends and foes..Friends require prayers and effort to keep.. and luck too!!These are the ones who will help you see the bad in the bad and the good in the good..They will help you know a niggar out there to take advantage of you and a gentleman with your best interests at heart.They will help you know that coca is just not any white stuff for feeling high but also a path to the lost and miserable. Foes on the other hand,will lead you to the wolves.They will laugh at your landing in Devil’s Cave and toast to your failures. They will pretend to be happy at your success while at your back they are planning to destroy you.. faster than our dear government will deliver their laptop promise to young ones instead of teargassing them..You see Liz,the world offers more foes than friends.Its not a cause for worry though,… the Good Lord will sieve for you wheat from the chaff…Just pray ..It has worked for others ,,it will work for you too.
Well now my well of counselling is running dry but teen is not all about hacking and dealing with everything.. Have fun..live life my dear..
enjoy the passions of youth with caution… Invest in your energies in all good and legal ways possible.. One day you will reap your fruits..Help others every day every one every minute..Keep God close by..He’s ever there ..trust me on that.

Lemme conclude by shouting out to all new teenagers..I welcome you to this planet…our planet..different from the one our parents live..new things..all marked with the prefix ‘cool’.But remember this whatever you do will be repayed tenfold.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZ!!!!!

from@joykathure.WordPress.com

Not everything is fashion

So today I have decided to talk about this fashion spell that befalls youths generation to generation. The fashion spell is the sagging of trousers especially among young men.

I came across this dude in the local  supermarket with sagging trousers. I can bet my life on the fact that he thought he looked like Brad Pitt of my neighborhood with the way he was walking..they call it swag I guess.. Well for me the dude was from a circumcision ceremony and the ‘ cut’ could not allow him to walk properly.

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That above was the only logical conclusion of his dressing disaster.
So today I beg no beseech is best for y,’,all who think sagging makes you cool dear ones you look like an idiot straight from ‘Idiot Land’.

from@joykathure.WordPress.com