Memoirs of an ex-freshman

In my musings of a wanderer today lemme recall my freshman year….in campus that is,for starters.I mean,with a long holiday that is seemingly unending and whose finding plot for is harder than watching grass grow ,,,what else would I do? When you get to campus first the old men make sure you feel the naivety flowing in your freshman self…everything is junior friends everything…even cookiejars are…let a second and upper year chic see their boyfriends laying their eyes on you…that’s when you know people..
Dear citizens of this planet freshman is all exciting….i mean without a few retakes to take care of could life be sweeter? My university is not in a city vicinity or in some punk leafy surburban so urbanites pardon me here..but continue reading peeps..just read..but be sure you will not find scenerios where someone puked for using the lift for the first time or saw Afya Centre as a big Mpesa..not in my humble abode of a campus
First lemme clarify I did not cry for setting foot in campus and seeing my folks bid goodbye,,,unlike in my primary school life.in fact I rejoiced ,,,more than our cabinet secretaries after their corruption charges are dropped..that freedom…its sweet I tell you..it is
Then my first lecture….and the dark not so friendly lecturer tells us that getting an A was a rumour whistling in the wind…i guess the old chap is blind,,what else explains the big thick spectacles competing for space with his nose in his equally wrinkled face??..but that’s the symbol of a well ,,.a tapped reservoir of knowledge..we laugh at his prophesy…i silently hope those end year transcripts don’t prove him right and the rest of us wrong….the lecture goes on…of cos juggling between sleep and Whatsapp the hippy happy app connecting us to the rest of our crew in the rest of the country..and a series of lectures begin in campus…for four straight years they,will reign..
Harvest day came…it is CAT day…i mean exams don’t think otherwise peeps….one thing campus taught me in that one year is if you don’t dazzle with brilliance baffle with bullshit..the lecturer gives you an unfamiliar question return the favour with a morass of unfamiliar answers…tit for tat…it may work..or otherwise …
Outside academic circles…the number of things I have learnt…are way too many…first the government decided condoms are better than HELB money…hustlers we understand this money and its importance so we know the wrath we feel seeing condom bins full and your helb account on the contrary…but it is priority right?..the results…the number of times I walked down fellow comrades hostels’ corridors and heard history being made are more than the number of times I got jokes from my lecturers…but I could not disturb people and their chemistry ..their poetry just because I was on the wrong side of it…
When the heart rules without the much needed company of the head poverty beckons…the number of times heifers have made away with ATMs of bulls make me wonder…lakini mwanaume Ni deni..siyo?? Chaps beg for the whole semester because some lass got away with all their savings and hustles…experiences haha..
My pocket sunk way below the sea level of cos…this is when I salute the men and women of honour who saved me from these predicaments one too many…and the dear friends who allowed me to pitch tent in your camps when mine sunk…Asante Sana…i look forward for the next three years with you
Ooh this chap that tried bulling me in a queue for getting exam cards I think…dude I remind you your revenge is coming..Omera you must learn chivalry is never an option…i did not just sleep off and forget your manner less good for nothing self…such riffraffs ,,how they get to campus only the one above knows
Then you yes you…you made me free of all the dude drama and crap that comes with it…the number of times I cried to you when exams sounded like Greek mythology leaving me wondering if I will harvest peanuts or nuts..as if there is a difference….and laughing with you and making spare times memorable…if I write about you WordPress will expel me for too much space use…you are valued and treasured…you made campus worthy and worry free…Jesus thank you…thank you…
Ngugi,this chap who served me well even when my stomach and pockets grew inversely at a steady rate…in short you fed me even when I had no coin to pay you…may you be blessed with your kindless that’s is rare in university quarters…Omera you made sure this daughter of Kenya does not die of hunger in pursuit of papers …thank you Ngugi…i look forward to your service at the business centre..
Lemme raise my glass to those who conceived this year…only Almighty knows the task of a baby in one hand and notes in the other…but you shall make it sisters…i have three more years lemme keep quiet..you never know fate..quite a bitch right?.
Oooh I was almost forgetting…the fashion week,,,since I’m on the lower limits of the looks category I wont chest thump and say I was actively a participant…no I was an audience team ..no major difference…i saw things and potentials…i will write about those things when I finish college…i have to safeguard my life..of cos Kuna wale walidanganywa Na speech ya Lupita wakamodel pia..but who am I to say…anyway their not so valid dreams ended midway…its life,,reality
Then freshas night…the gold rush is real…people are thirsty in these sides…or is it everywhere…some took beer for the first time in their lives..and I’m told they have been promoting liquor houses since then..keep up chaps,.thats how people learn…but limit that thirst people..
Now lemme go,..this was just a sneak peek of campus…ngojea miaka tatu nimalize niandike vitu za maana…now I have to watch my back..what I say…oooh before leaving,.,those bitches who attempted to make life hell…continue..i beg you…you diluted sometimes boring campus life with dramas…with your desperate attempts of spreading your cheaply fabricated lies..and trynna harvest what you did not sow..cheap souls…
Now goodbye..for real…ooh mom ,dad incase you find this know your school fees was utilized..be assured.